How Not To Be Depressed In Life

In one of my series on depression, i did a post – Why Am I So Depressed?  This is a caution techniques against depression. That’s a simple guard against depression or you can call it depression preventive measure just like the doctor would say keep your environment clean and use the prescribed mosquito net as malaria preventive measure. Thus to avoid being a victim of depression the following tips should be kept in mind and adhere to:
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1.  When anything fails around you, whether relationship, business, marriage or health, don’t see it as the  end of your life because doing such will make you sad and eventually make you depressed. However when you experience any of such, see it as a medium to improve on your failed attempt because it is in failing that you succeed. This simply means that you are  seeing failure from the angle of your input. That is  you are not the one who failed but your attempt so you have to attempt in a better way. In that way you don’t judge yourself badly or end up being depressed.
2. Don’t personalized negative happenings.Like I discussed earlier there’s no human being that’s without a problem. So see whatever you experience as what every normal human being would have experience. This may not make sense to you but its one way to avoid feeling depressed.
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For example, if someone dies, its common that everybody related to the deceased mourns but not everyone will be depressed. Those who are not depressed are those who realized that there’s nothing that can undo what has happened so the only option is to move on because life is all about moving on. If you don’t move on you will be stagnated and depression is a close ally of stagnation.
3. Learn to compliment yourself even if others rate your performance poorly. This is because no one can really make you feel sad except you allow yourself to be moved by what anyone says to you. Complimenting yourself will save you from developing low self esteem which is another route to depression.
4.  Watch your association. There’s a common saying that likes magnets. That means hanging around depressed people have a way of making you feel sad or depressed. Its just like going to the cemetery with those who lost their loved ones and expect not to cry or being in a dancing galling Hall without shaking your body consciously or unconsciously which is very impossible. So to avoid being depressed you must of necessity avoid people who are aggressive in nature who have a way of causing negative mood swing in other people.
(No4) How to help someone who is depressed.
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Let’s take this scenario to better understand this. If you have a child who loves rough play, having warned or caution the child against it but fail to listen to you and head on to the same rough play and got his leg broken. Now, do you beat up the child or scold the child who’s already in pain because he flaunts your orders or warning? No of course! At this time all you are concern with is how to make the child feels better. So helping a depressed person to feel better is similar. Thus you have to follow the following tips to avoid aggravating the depressed feeling of the person you are helping.

– Never question a depressed person why he/she took the decision that resulted in his/her depressed state because that will be suicidal as it will refresh his/her mind on that same sad event or mistake already made. This means that once the person you are helping has already narrated his/her ordeal to you, you are not to cast blame or keep asking why it happened.

– Don’t remind the person how he/she currently look(if he/she looks pale) as that can result in negative mood swing and aggravate the depressed feelings. Only talk about things that will bring about laughter. Things like hobbies, amusing stories that can shift his/her mind off that depressed experience.

–  Compliment the victim even though such compliment may not be 100%true so long it makes him/her feels good.
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– Go on a date with the person you are helping. Either a launch date,ride date or even swimming if the person can swim so as to divert his/her mind off that bad feelings because it is in shifting the mind of the person you are helping  off the sad experience that helps restored his/her state of mind.
– Don’t yell at a depressed person even though they may be overbearing sometimes. You must treat them as suckling babes that need patting and not scolding.
– Always check on the person with gift items. Befriend them long enough for the person to let go of the depressed feelings.
– Loneliness. Never allow the person to be left alone because every moment of silence and loneliness can result in his/her mind wandering back to the sad experience. This rule is perhaps the most difficult to adhere to especially when you don’t live together with the person you are helping and you also have a job to attend to. In that case, calls will do.
You can call the person in the morning and before bed time and even send text messages if you can’t call as it will make the person feels he/she is not alone.

Leader Abiyone

Abiyone Ejenavi Leader is a freelance writer. Started her professional writing in 2015. Published her first book titled ''The determined man'' in 2016 and ''You and the mirror'' in 2018 respectively. She is a law graduate of National Open University of Nigeria. Email:

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