Perfect shorts length is one of the eternal questions in the world. Flashforwarding in May 3021, style enthusiasts lie in high-pressure sleep capsules, wondering which inseam dominates that summer.
The quest for inseam perfection is a debate that has divided people over the months, both on social media and in Highsnobiety’s virtual conference rooms. Some of us find the friendliness of the 5-inch Patagonia buggy comfortable, while others are strictly knee-length only. There is no compromise.
As the inseam debate continues to intensify, I’m asking Highsnob editors around the world, from New York to Berlin, to comment on choosing the latest, greatest, and truly wild of the season. I called for a solution at once. Shorts currently on the market.
Things got hot — and not just for the wild 2-inch inseamers we started with. Here are all the hot takes of this pair and much more. Please @ in the comments section.
From barely bare capri pants to cursed capri pants, scroll to resolve the shorts length debate yourself.
Lazoschmidl Hot Pants — 2.5 “Inseam
Graeme Campbell, Senior Feature Editor: Jake, you are.
Jake Indiana, Senior Feature Editor: Really? I was going to tell them how crazy I would be without this torn trim. I really don’t like how irregular they are.
Graeme: What do you call a rope racing system? It’s like very old English, right?
Jake: It’s a very renaissance way of tying shorts. Very page boy.
Christopher Morency, Editor-in-Chief: I definitely don’t have an ass for them.
Telfar Track Shorts — 4 “Inseam
Christopher: These are very pajamas.
Jake: Very John Travolta.
Malaika Crawford, Market Editor: I love these. They also turn red. I like red.
Patagonia Buggy — 5 “Inseam
Lewis Almond, Style Editor: Perhaps the “perfect” length is short. What do you think?
Graeme: Yes classic. I have three pairs of them, but they aren’t really fashion shorts. I usually just wear it.
Louis: Can you get bored of them?
Malaika: No, you never get tired of it. They are classic.
GCDS Boxer Shorts — 5 “Inseam
Yulia Pankova, Market Editor: It looks like I’m too busy if it’s too long, but I feel like I’m working here.
Graeme: Do you know the Dutch painter Hieronymus Bosch? At first I thought so. It just never ends.
Jake: Bosch takes on kitchen utensils.
Board Rugby Shorts — 6 “Inseam
Christopher: I have sex with these. I want these, but I can’t justify the price of corduroy shorts. Anyways.
Herbert Hoffman, Creative Director: I don’t want to sweat. The paint may stick to the butt of your chair.
Louis: How about the length? I think this is the perfect inseam length for me — 6 inches.
Christopher: I think my perfect length is just above my knees. No, I’m lying. I like shorts. It is between the hips and knees. That’s it.
Jake: Keep the taste as short as possible.
Christopher: So what is it?
Jake: The shorter the shorts, the closer you are to God, honey!
Lazoschmidl Cycling Shorts — 9 “Inseam
Graeme: Biker shorts? Do not use them unless you are using them for performance.
Malaika: Yes, it doesn’t look like it. Also, who looks good in biker shorts? nobody.
Herbert: I know a pretty hot person to do so.
Bottega Veneta Wide Leg Shorts — 11 inch Inseam
Graeme: Yeah, they are sick.
Jake: I love these.
Malaika: I’m absolutely not sure. I think it’s fashion victims’ shorts.
GmbH Vinyl Shorts-11 “Inseam
Christopher: Oh my. Wow.
Malaika: It’s hot, it’s hot, it’s hot.
urea: If you look at these shorts in real life, you can’t look away.
Jake: That crotch zipper is special.
Christopher: But the shit will get very hot. Everything inside sweats.
Jake: Yeah, I can’t see this actually being worn outside the rave. So you will definitely sweat. So what else is this front pocket designed for?
Herbert: To generate steam.
Acronym SP28-DS Shorts — 12 inch inseam
Louis: A good gateway for those who are not sure about the whole man about skirts. Almost skort.
Graeme: Yes, that is, because they are acronyms, they also probably do something strange.
Herbert: There is too much fabric in the crotch. I don’t want to know how they look behind me.
urea: Like a full diaper.
CDG Homme Plus Crinkle Shorts — 12.5 “Inseam
Graeme: CDG makes the best fashion shorts.
Jake: Yeah and I think the length really works for this design.
Herbert: Drinking cappuccino in the sun and shining light through your crotch into your face doubles your sunburn.
Jake: Now you know who this was designed for.
JW Anderson Skater Pants — 13 inch Inseam
Christopher: These are not accepted. Price and length.
Herbert: It’s not really sexy. And it looks a bit like a chocolate honey brand or something mascot.
Jake: It looks like a Playmobile action figure. I’m not human.
Louis: Or a picnic blanket.
Malaika: I really want shorts. I like prints.
Christopher: But brown and yellow?
Malaika: Yeah, come on!
Balenciaga denim shorts — 14 inch inseam
Jake: Grange kid?
Christopher: It’s a full 90’s teenager in a shopping mall.
Graeme: What do you think of denim shorts? It’s a pretty political issue.
Herbert: I think they are working again. Last week, many people wore cut-up 501 with hanging fringes.
Crochet shorts of the same name-15 “Inseam
Malaika: Shoot me again, but I think these are cool. The color is cool. The print is cool. It’s a little long, but I think there is something.
Louis: Do you think this length will work?
Graeme: I don’t think these are shorts.
Malaika: Are you capri pants?
Herbert: Yes, it’s Capri.
urea: Yeah, it’s not shorts.
Details of the best shorts of the summer
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