The moment you realize that you are no longer having sexual urge and desires for your partner it is a positive sign that you have begun sliding away and falling g out of love for your partner.
Being loved is a quite exciting feeling even when you are going through serious challenges in the relationship, you can endure with hope that things will get better but watch it if you begin to complain too much, things will naturally begin to irritate you and you are left confused not knowing what is wrong or what you really want. That’s another sign that should make you ask the right questions if for real you have started falling out of love.
Statistics in Canada of divorce cases shows that in 2011, approximately one in five persons in their late 50s were either divorced or separated, also the 2006 census data confirms that four in every ten first marriages end in divorce. The stats is also almost the same for 2nd and 3rd marriages.
“It takes work to stay in love, and if your partner doesn’t put in the work to keep the romance alive, it will fizzle,” says relationship expert and couples therapist Nicole McCance.
The “work” often involves a combination of open dialogue as well as a commitment to change. It’s hard, McCance says, but it’s not impossible.
These five common signs will help you know if you are falling out of love
1. No interest in sexual intimacy
McCance once said that not having sex isn’t the sign in itself — because a lot of couples don’t have regular sex, not because they don’t want to have sex.
Truth is “If you’re not having sex because you’re busy with the kids or with work, or you’re in a situation where having sex isn’t easy, like if you’re living with your in-laws, that’s normal,” says McCance “But if you haven’t had sex in a while and it’s not bothering you, that’s a red flag.”
Love in itself is a strong desire for intimacy and attachment to yourselves but when this vital ingredient is missing, the relationship will begin to wane out because the emotional connection you share with your partner is gone.
“Sex is important, not just because it’s part of a healthy relationship, but because it bonds people together,” says relationship expert April Masini.
2. You are now imagining how life would be without them
At first, when you were head over heels in love, you can’t think about your future without your significant other in it. They are always included in your future, you just cannot make any plans without given due considerations to their feelings. But the moment you start fantasizing about what the future would be without your partner and you like the plans in your mind. Just know that love has started fading away and if you are not making any conscious effort to work on it, you will walk out of the relationship in no distant time. “If there’s no attachment, there’s no love,” McCance says.
3. You feel very comfortable going outings alone
“If you ever noticed a change no matter how tiny it is in interest in your partner’s company, that’s a sign that the relationship is winding down,” Masini says.
This is especially very evident when you chose to go out alone on free evenings, weekends or decide to spend your brief vacation alone and ordinarily, you always crave for these moments to spend with your partner. The message clearly states that you’d rather hang out with someone else.
4. You feel lonely even when you are with your partner
The primary reason of being in a relationship is to always have a companion, someone who we can share and bear our burdens with, just anyone that we feel comfortable with and share our lives with. Love only add spices and makes the union more colorful but the main thing is to have a companion that would take the loneliness and emptiness we feel. So, anytime you feel lonely even when you are with your partner or worst still when you go out with your spouse and still not connecting as you should then watch it, you are gradually falling out of love.
5. When what keeps you together isn’t love
If you get to the phase when you do not realize that it is not the love you have for your partner that keeps the your relationship together but on those things you both hold so dear, like taking care of the kids so, the void or loneliness you have deep inside you were covered up by your kids and now that your kids have individuated in their teen years, that’s the reason why so many relationships fall apart because the kids have begun living their personal lives. And that void and emptiness you once had are back in full measure, so naturally, that union will break on its own because you can no longer connect with your partner.
Can you fall back in love?
The trust is that you can always fall back again in love with the same person but it will only take hard work and to start afresh by putting more effort into the relationship and building gradually until you can now be sexually attracted to your partner and the lost spark is regained once again in your relationship.