Theirs an inbuilt and deep hunger that drives everyone to search for that one person that would fill and complement the emotional hunger in our hearts and make us complete. So in that dire search for a partner most persons tend to be consumed with their checklist of all the qualities they desire in the person they are attracted to but always do forget that there are little red flags here and that could tell a whole lot of what to expect in a true and real relationship between two matured and ready to settle down singles whose aim is to consummate in one true love that they have found.
I have seen first hand some persons who came to me for counseling how they stay in certain relationships for years because they lack emotional independence and they just hang in there without ever having to feel the due satisfaction that comes from being in love and to loved back.
Here are 10 warning signs that will let you if really you are being emotionally dependent on your partner and to help you rethink the stand you take in your relationship.
- YOU GET JEALOUS
When you just can’t stand it when you see your better half or partner spending relatively happy time outside with friends, colleagues, and even family. You become so jealous that you go as far as creating problems for your partner just to stop them from leaving you. This is more than fear of infidelity, it’s you being an emotional wreck.
- YOU STAY GLUED TO YOUR PARTNER
You have become so emotionally attached to your partner to the point where you can no longer hang out with friends or live the life you had before the relationship. You used to have hobbies that you enjoy with friends or some other activities you do that makes you happy but not anymore because you are emotional independent, you would always seek solace only in the arms of your partner.
- YOU FEAR THEY’LL LEAVE
You have become so possessive because of sheer insecurity for the mere fear that your partner might leave you for someone else. It grows till you become so obsessed with the idea being alone so you are bent on locking your partner in the relationship.
- YOU BAIL ALL THE TIME
Bailing on plans to see a movie together is good once in a while but when it becomes so rampant then it poses a huge problem. True that people do need some time alone but if it becomes a problem for you and you can no longer handle your partner staying away from being you. That’s a warning sign that you are not emotional independent.
- YOU RELY ON THEM FOR VALIDATION
When no other opinion matter to you except that of your partner, this should worry you. It is good if you value your partner’s evaluation or validation of you but when it becomes the ultimate then it’s a step too far. No other opinions matter anymore and not even your personal validation of yourself.
- IT’S ALL ABOUT APPEARANCES
There are some things that you in your which make you doubt their personalities because it is affecting your relationship but because family and friends say it’s okay you just hang in there.
- YOU WANT TO CHANGE THEM
Habits and character can rarely be changed, so if you are in a relationship with the mindset of changing your spouse or better half before you can be happy then you should consider being with someone completely new.
- YOU’RE CONTROLLING
You always want to take the lead, and if your partner does not comply fully or as you want, you become very upset. You just like having to be in charge at all times.
- YOU GENUINELY BELIEVE YOUR LIFE WOULD BE OVER WITHOUT THEM
When you build your life around your partner, there’s a constant fear that your life would mean nothing or it would come to an end if by chance you become separated.
- YOU RELY ON THEM FOR SELF-WORTH
When at all times you greatly desire the affection and attention or the approval of your significant other becomes a problem if you don’t get it. You always need their validation to give you confidence and self-worth.
Remember, that true love is trusting and believing in each other and it begins with appreciating the innate values you hold individually.
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